If we start telling you all about the latest Misspent Summers newsletter, then there’ll be no point in you reading it.
But, at the same time, if we tell you more about it here, then we’ll bump up our stats for this page.
And stats are all that counts, after all.
Because how else does a mountain bike media company fill its advertising pitches if not with tweaked statistics?
Tweaked statistics form a large part of the dark dealings in the underworld known as ad sales.
Give statistics and you are opening your company up not only to financial destitution but also general ridicule. Tweaked statistics solve this problem.
Page views, or ‘impressions’ can be bumped up by flooding your website with rehashed photo galleries disguised as entertainment.
In the print media world, you can’t really get away with quoting page views when casting your net towards potential advertisers.
This is unfortunate, as we would probably have quite a lot of real page views, even compared to the MTB media giants.
But yeah, we don’t have many online page views. Thank you for doing your bit and reading this garbage, you’ve contributed one page view and may cash it in as a discount on any future electronic purchases.
Talking of impressions, has anyone seen my imitation of a typical mountain biker? It’s hilarious. I might do it now.