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Latest technology relegates need to move any body part ever

  • 15:24

The new GoLow 15.7Mk8 is a wearable ‘bra for your head’, the company’s chief executive orificer said on FaceTwit today. ‘When your brain has finally melted into oblivion and your front portals (known to humanoids as eyes) are sagging lower than granny’s chest, this device will allow social media armies to continue invading your personal space and controlling your day-to-day functioning.’
Find out more about this (unfortunately real) device by visiting FaceWare’s website.

LATEST NEWS UPDATES:

Rachel Atherton suffers a dislocated collarbone at 2023 World Champs in Fort William

  • 13:21

We’ve had reports that Rachel Atherton has dislocated her collarbone at Fort William World Championships during pracitice. It’s uncertain if she will be able to race. More to follow.

Sly-Talk Publications sacks staff and closes magazine shocker

  • 23:21

For the first time in today’s history, a gentle giant corporation has sadly had to axe its most important and valued staff.

Sly-Talk Publications is yet to comment on sacking everyone but the CEO today declined to tip staff in his favourite caviar bar as a sign of respect for the little people he let go so he could continue scraping by on a big salary.

MONT SAINTE ANNE WORLD CUP FREE SCHOOL DINNERS REVIEW

  • 15:10

Friday 5th August 2022
Food selection: 7/10 (Ice cream, granola bars, crisps, pretzels)
Drink selection: 8/10 (Plenty, and water bottle refilling station)
Service: 10/10 (Hand delivered ice creams)
Wifi: 9/10
A service announcement from the Mont-Sainte-Anne press office

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