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New slipperiness-reduction hand product introduced in Tokyo

Spotted – a new technology was secretly launched during the women’s BMX Freestyle competition at the Tokyo Olympics.
The Russian Olympic Complicity was seen dusting riders’ hands in a fine white powder to reduce perceived slipperiness as they entered into sporting competition for the first time since the country was last blacklisted.
Known only by its codename, ‘TALC’, the powder is thought to have brought… [continued overleaf]

LATEST NEWS UPDATES:

Rachel Atherton suffers a dislocated collarbone at 2023 World Champs in Fort William

We’ve had reports that Rachel Atherton has dislocated her collarbone at Fort William World Championships during pracitice. It’s uncertain if she will be able to race. More to follow.

Sly-Talk Publications sacks staff and closes magazine shocker

For the first time in today’s history, a gentle giant corporation has sadly had to axe its most important and valued staff.

Sly-Talk Publications is yet to comment on sacking everyone but the CEO today declined to tip staff in his favourite caviar bar as a sign of respect for the little people he let go so he could continue scraping by on a big salary.

MONT SAINTE ANNE WORLD CUP FREE SCHOOL DINNERS REVIEW

Friday 5th August 2022
Food selection: 7/10 (Ice cream, granola bars, crisps, pretzels)
Drink selection: 8/10 (Plenty, and water bottle refilling station)
Service: 10/10 (Hand delivered ice creams)
Wifi: 9/10
A service announcement from the Mont-Sainte-Anne press office

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