Where is your reading time?
Words by Victor Lucas
Illustration by Jon Gregory
Much has been said about our ever decreasing attention spans…
Oh look a squirrel!
Ermm, as I was saying – these days we are drowning in a flood of distraction and sometimes the humble ‘book printed on paper’ just can’t compete with the onslaught of hilarious tiktoks of people falling off things, inspiring shred-a-grams and uproarious kitten videos.
This is partly why we try to make our books a quality thing that people might keep for life. But recently, we were wondering when and where people actually find a quiet place to read, and how much time they really have. Are our books too long? Are race reports too short? Do we use too many big words? So we did some scientific market research.
This is what we found*
Test Location 1: Bathroom
Time: Daily at approx 8am, possible multiple visits
Distraction level: Low, with brief moments of intense effort
Test Location 2: Bus/Train/Boat/Plane
Time: 24/7. Usually delayed.
Distraction Level: Ranging from ‘Bored AF’ to ‘Screaming Baby!’
Test Location 3: Watching Telly
Time: Whenever it’s too dark/wet/cold outside to ride
Distraction Level: High, except programs about gardening, antiques and old westerns
Test Location 4: In Bed
Time: 11pm is acceptable, unless you’re under 10 or over 50 years old, when earlier is mandatory.
Distraction Level: Low to High, depending on partner and/or phone battery
After in depth analysis of the findings, and discussion with the executive marketing committee, we conclude that for optimum customer satisfaction, going forward, our books should:
• be 1000 pages long, but also free of charge and much easier to carry
• include more videos of cute animals running, jumping or rolling in filth
• have a pine fresh scent
• include a bag of chips and free beverages
• guarantee race wins, do fashion makeovers and 100x your bank balance
• be waterproof
*Actually we didn’t really do any research. But we will, right after this video of a monkey doing a wheelie while playing a banjo.